Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
