No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
