i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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