The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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