The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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