if you like me you must not know who I am
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
