now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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