Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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