boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
