You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
