Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
