I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
