Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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