I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
