I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
