dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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