After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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