I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm getting married
To pizza
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
