cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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