The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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