So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
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I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
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Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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