I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
birth control should be required to get into college
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
