I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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