Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
