I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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