i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She announced her abortion via fbk
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
we're so committed to being not committed
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
