I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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