drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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