She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
