I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
