like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
