this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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