The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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