Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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