Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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