I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
