So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I did not marry a roomba.
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