She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
