you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
