Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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