I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
