I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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