I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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