yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
