I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
