there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
