Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
