I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
