she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize