How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize