I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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