What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
