All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
