I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
