nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
