She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
