he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
