So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
