you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
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Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
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He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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